The Angry Johnnie: Five Things You Shouldn’t Wear To Class

I don’t consider myself an expert on fashion, but there are some things that really annoy me about the way people dress when they go to class. Here’s a few things that really bother me about my classmate’s dressing habits:

1)Pajama Pants: Nothing says “I rolled out of bed this morning and went straight to my 7 AM class without taking a shower” than a hoodie and PJ’s.  Add a fitted baseball cap to the equation and you might as well be one of the rapists in the wanted posters on the subway.

2)Sandals: Seriously people, it’s almost November! Have some mercy on your toes, they must be on the verge of frostbite, not to mention the fact that walking through the filthy sidewalks of New York with practically bare feet must mean that they are slightly dirtier than a truck-stop restroom.

3)Ed Hardy Everything: The t-shirts were cool at first, but then came the sweatshirts, and the trucker caps, and the jeans, and now pretty much everything you could possibly wear comes with a tattoo and rhinestones stamped on it. If you’re going to wear Ed Hardy clothes, wear one item at a time. Completely decking yourself out pretty much means that either you have too much money but not enough common sense or that you do all your shopping on Canal Street.

4)Bandannas/Keffiyehs: In the same way that Pajamas represent a complete lack of concern for the way you look, these ridiculously loud accessories seem to shout “I spend way too much time looking at myself in the mirror and have low self esteem about my neck”. If your neck is really that cold, wear something more subtle, like a scarf.

5)Giant Headphones: Headphones keep getting bigger and bigger these days, and it’s only a matter of time before people start carrying around Radio Raheem-style boomboxes again. I understand that the white earbuds that come with iPod’s are regarded somewhat as a status-symbol, but does that mean that we have to constantly out-do each other by wearing gigantic $150 Sony earmuffs everywhere we go? I know the sound quality is close to perfect, but unless you’re a DJ or construction worker, is there anything around you loud enough to compete with music being channeled directly into your ears?

-Mario Vergara

Tags: Clothes, Mario Vergara