St. John’s Survival Guide: Procrastination


If you were in my seat right now, you would reek of “ain’t that a ****” right now. I write to you today about avoiding procrastination as much as possible. It will surely save your life at St. John’s, and elsewhere for that matter. But for our purposes, let’s focus on St. John’s.

This idea came to me when at the end of yesterday, I had dedicated about 7 hours of the day to Rock Band 2. Yes, that’s close to a third of the day. But the thing is, procrastination only plays a small part in the story. It definitely does not reach the point of this guy’s story.

Before I procrastinate any further by talking about Rock Band more and not getting to my point, I’ll say it now. Get your work done… and get it done BEFORE you do something else. Really, it’s not that hard. Say you have a paper due on the 25th and you’ve known about it since the beginning of the month. You know there’s a couple of big time things you want to get done, so start planning ahead. Get at least a majority of that paper done before the first of the biggest couple of things.

This has many advantages. First off, you’ll be able to rest easy when you’re doing the exciting stuff. You won’t end up in some worrisome state over whether you can possibly get your real work done. Second, you’ll impress somebody (namely your professor) by looking like you really care about what the assignment is compared to fun stuff. Your professor doesn’t need to know you may want to be stupid instead! So not only are you stress free, but you might end up with a cookie. Epic win. If you’ve been doing this all along, here’s a thumbs up:

Thumbs up to you!

Thumbs up to you!

Of course, there is always the other side of things. You could dive head first into what you are procrastinating with and turn it into a career. Meet Blake Peebles, the world’s biggest jerk. Trust me, you’ll see what I mean.

And in case you thought I was going to let the beginning of this story go, I tried to start writing this at 5:00 pm and my computer was running horrible slow. Why? Because I procrastinated in writing this, and I was worried about getting it done by 6:50. But I did gain 500,000+ fans in Rock Band 2. And now I have to run. I may be able to squeeze in one more song between dinner and class.

-Alex Quevedo

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One Response to “St. John’s Survival Guide: Procrastination”

  1. sjuonlinenews Says:

    this is hilarious, and the pic is great. i hate the smell of “ain’t that a b****”

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